


Ecstasy of Grief

by hunter_king



Series: Supernatural - J2 [12]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared Padalecki, M/M, Slash, Swearing, Top Jensen Ackles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:19:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunter_king/pseuds/hunter_king
Summary: One evening Jensen can’t pick Jared up from work/school and Jensen’s best friend Tom offers Jared a ride home, which Jared accepts; however on the way home Tom pulls over and comes on to Jared. Jared politely rejects him but Tom doesn't take the hint and tries again. This time Jared angrily shoves him off, saying he loves Jensen. Tom is furious at the rejection and rapes Jared before casually dressing them both and driving Jared home. He warns Jared not to say anything because no one will believe him. Next day, Tom is acting completely normal, hanging out with Jensen, laughing, etc. Jared starts avoiding people, including Jensen whenever Tom is around. Jensen notices something is wrong – Jared's withdrawn, skittish and he tries to avoid anything intimate with Jensen. At first Jared denies anything's wrong, but they end up rowing and Jared accidently tells him about Tom. Jensen is horrified and shocked. But Jared never lies; maybe it was a misunderstanding? Jensen has no idea what to believe and when he confronts Tom he completely denies it, saying Jared came onto him and he rejected Jared so he's probably upset. So, who the hell does Jensen believe, and what will happen to make him finally choose?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for Imogen_lily  
> Written for the rpf_big_bang in November 2012  
> Beta'd by same_space  
> Art by nanoks (account deleted...sorry)

Jensen frowned deeply at his boss when the man dropped a stack of paperwork on his desk. It was getting late already and Jensen had plans with Jared tonight, so he should have known this was going to happen. His boss, Mitch Pileggi, had something against him, Jensen was sure. The man _always_ tried to make him work late on nights that Jared had class and Jensen had to pick him up. “What is all of this, Mitch?” Jensen asked, irritation creeping into his voice.

“I need these to be filed by eight AM tomorrow,” Mitch replied simply. Sure, he could have given Jensen the files last week so he could have gradually worked on them, but it was so much more fun waiting so Jensen had to stay late and cancel his plans. “Is that going to be a problem?” 

If he was being honest with himself, Jensen would have given his left arm to tell Mitch that yes, this was going to be a problem. But Jensen needed this job, so he kept his mouth shut. “No, not at all,” he assured the other man reluctantly, flipping Mitch the bird as he walked out of Jensen’s office. There was no way all of these papers had just piled up overnight, which meant Mitch was back to the kick where he was hoarding things so Jensen had to do all of it in one sitting. He really hated it when Mitch did that. But this time there was no explanation why. At least the last time Mitch had played this game, it was because he was jealous that Jensen’s ideas had been used and his hadn’t when the board wanted to make changes to the work environment. Now, Jensen had no clue what he was being punished for.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, glaring at the stack of papers that he still needed to work on. There was no way in Hell he was going to make it to pick up Jared at this rate. Reluctantly, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket, shooting Jared a quick text message before he started his work. If he wanted to get out of here before midnight tonight, he had to get moving. Maybe by some miracle he could make it home in time to at least spend _some_ time with Jared. Sure, it wouldn’t be the wonderful evening they had planned, but it would be something.

**~~**

_Baby, I’m SO sorry! Mitch just gave me a stack of papers as high as my head and he needs them done by tomorrow morning. Looks like it’s gonna be another long one for me here. :( Do you think you can catch a ride home from Tom? I think he’s still there because of football practice. I’ll meet you at home, baby. I love you._

A small frown came to Jared’s lips when he read the text message from Jensen, the younger man sighing softly. He wasn’t mad. How could he be mad at Jensen for something that wasn’t even his fault? Still, he was a little disappointed that their evening plans were down the drain now because of Mitch. Jared knew that Jensen loved his job as a sports injury therapist, but Jared just wished that he could find a new job where Mitch Pileggi wasn’t his boss. But that was asking too much. Jensen had already been there for three years and Jared knew how hard it was to work up seniority at a place like that.

_It’s all right, babe. Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Tom won’t mind dropping me off since I’m on the way to his house anyway. We can do our plans some other night. It’s not like the restaurant isn’t open every day. I’ll see you back at the house. I love you, Jen._ He sighed as he hit the send button and pocketed his phone once more, heading towards the parking lot where he hoped to meet up with Tom.

These late night classes were a bitch to deal with, but Jared knew that it had to be done. His required classes for his PhD were only offered at night because of some scheduling conflicts with the professor teaching the coarse, so Jared just had to deal with it. Luckily, he only had a few more weeks of this and then he was done for the summer. That also meant that he could take on more hours at the animal shelter where he worked part time, and hopefully that would lessen Jensen’s work load. Sure, Jensen didn’t really _have_ to work because his parents were rich, but he didn’t like just taking money from them because they had it. Jensen was the kind of person who liked to work for what he had, which was one of the things Jared loved about him. 

It seemed as if Lady Luck was shining down on Jared tonight, a wide smile coming to his lips as he saw Tom standing by his van. “Tom!” Jared called out, jogging towards his friend. “Hey, can you give me a ride home? Jensen got stuck working late and my car’s in the shop again.” Jared’s car was always in the shop it seemed. The thing was ancient and if Jared had enough money, he would have bought a new one in a heartbeat. “Please?” he added, remembering his manners.

Tom Welling had known Jensen and Jared since they were in high school, and he considered himself to be one of their best friends. He was studying for a degree in business, and he was the best player on the football team. His football buddies called him _The Golden Boy_ because every gay man and every woman wanted to be with Tom. His parents were extremely wealthy and powerful, which only added to the young football star’s appeal. Some may say that he was the whole package.

He smiled widely when he saw Jared jogging towards him, the older man immediately pulling Jared into a quick embrace. “Hey Jay,” he smiled, clapping Jared on the shoulder when he pulled back. “No basketball practice tonight?” He knew there was no debate team meetings until next semester because they were on a break, but Jared was also on the basketball team, and Tom could have sworn that they had practice tonight.

“No, I had practice before class tonight. It’s Tuesday,” Jared replied as Tom told him to hop into the van. Once he was buckled in, Jared smiled and look over at Tom. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.” Sighing, he gave his head a small shake, dropping his eyes to the floor. “I just wish that Jensen didn’t have to work late tonight. We had plans to go out, and now that’s shot because of Mitch. God, that guy’s such an ass!”

Snorting out a laugh, Tom mused, “Yeah, well there’s always tomorrow night. And I’m sure that this guy is just jealous because Jensen has a life, which is why he’s making him stay late.” Tom had met Jensen’s boss on a few occasions and he really was an ass. He was stuck up to say the least. Really, Tom had no idea why Jensen even stayed there. It wasn’t like he needed the money, after all. His parents were almost as loaded as Tom’s. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Jay,” he smiled finally, turning his attention back to the road.

The ride was done mostly in silence except for the soft sound of the music playing in the background.   
When they were about two minutes from Jared’s house, Tom chuckled, turning his attention to Jared once more. “Hey, do you remember when we were in high school, and you had that huge crush on me?” Seeing Jared roll his eyes, Tom frowned, turning his attention back to the road. “What, are you saying that you don’t remember?” he griped. “It wasn’t that long ago, Jared. It was just before you and Jensen started dating.”

Jared shook his head at Tom’s words, chuckling softly. “No, I remember,” he assured the older man. “You thought it was funny, if I recall. You told your friends and they all laughed at me. Everyone except Jensen.” A small, loving smirk came to Jared’s lips as he added, “But that was before I started dating Jensen, Tom. I can assure you that there are no leftover feelings.” 

Honestly, Tom hadn’t been listening to much of Jared’s speech after he had said that he didn’t have feelings for him anymore. That had to be a lie. Jared had been infatuated with him, and feelings like that didn’t just disappear. 

Pausing for a moment, Jared explained, “I’m in love with him, you know? I mean, I know it’s only been three years, but I think I may have found the one.” Jared ducked his head. “Does that sound stupid?”

Sure, Tom had thought it was funny until Jared had started dating Jensen. Then he realized how stupid he was for not grabbing up Jared when he had the chance. 

People always ran around saying how gorgeous Jensen and Jared were together and that they were the perfect couple, but those people were idiots – they were all wrong. He and Jared would have made the perfect couple, and Tom wanted that. Tom wanted Jared to be with him. 

A confused frown came to Jared’s lips when Tom passed his house, the younger man pointing at the window as he explained, “Um…Tom, you passed up my house.” When Tom didn’t respond, Jared starting to get a little worried. “Tom, where are you going?” he asked, chuckling nervously. “My house is back that way.” When Tom pulled off into an alley a few blocks away, Jared’s heart started thundering in his chest. He didn’t think Tom would hurt him, but there was this little voice in the back of his mind telling him to run. Especially when Tom turned towards him looking like a completely different person; his eyes seemed to be darker than they usually were and he wasn’t smiling this time. “Tom, what are you doing?” Jared asked, his voice a lot softer than he would have liked it to be.

“You’re lying to me, Jared,” Tom accused, his voice on edge, dangerous. “You still have feelings for me. I can tell every time you speak to me. You’re just lying to me about that, and maybe you’re lying to yourself as well.” Quickly, he grabbed Jared, pulling the younger man closer to him. “I’ll show you how good I can be,” he whispered before he roughly crushed his lips against Jared’s, the younger man gasping in surprise, leaving him wide open for Tom’s assault. Tom moaned softly at the taste as Jared tried to fight him. 

Tom didn’t mind if Jared wanted to play hard to get. In the end, he knew he’d get what he wanted.

Once he recovered from the initial shock, Jared tried to shove Tom away, trying desperately to get the older man off him so he could get out of the van and to safety. Never in a million years would Jared have expected this to happen, but now that it was, he knew he didn’t have much time to get out. He broke his lips free from the kiss, shoving Tom away from him. “What the hell are you thinking?!” Jared demanded, scoffing when Tom tried to pull him close again. “Let go of me!” he yelled, shoving at Tom again before he turned towards the door and tried to open it. He heard the click of the locks a moment before he felt Tom grabbing at him again.

No matter how much Jared fought, it seemed like he couldn’t get away. Jared was by no means weak, but Tom was evidently stronger than him. After all, he was the football captain, and he spent more time working out than he did anything else, so Jared really had no chance of overpowering him. Still, he wasn’t going to give up. The younger man began kicking and throwing punches in an attempt to get away – he even bit Tom’s arm, but nothing seemed to be helping. 

“No, Tom, stop it!” Jared yelled as he was pushed into the bed of the van, Tom’s football equipment digging into his back where he was laying on Tom’s shoulder pads.

He couldn’t help but be relieved when Tom shoved the shoulder pads as well as anything else that was in his way against the side of the van, making Jared’s position a little more comfortable. Jared tried to hit Tom again, but the older man grabbed his wrist and shoved it down on the floor, pinning it there before he did the same with the other, shoving them both into one hand as he searched the car for something he could use to bind Jared. A shoe string did the trick, and within a few minutes, Jared found his hands bound above his head as Tom continued to hold his wrists in one hand. 

There was no way out of this. Jared knew that now. Of course, that didn’t mean that he had to accept it. He tried to kick Tom, but the older man had anticipated his move and used his free hand to shove Jared’s legs apart bringing them both under control.

“Tom, no, don’t do this, please?” Jared begged, knowing that he surely wasn’t above it at this point. If he didn’t do something, Tom was going to rape him, and Jared needed to keep that from happening.

Silent tears tracked down Jared’s cheeks as Tom tore his jeans and boxers off his body, once again catching Jared’s foot when he tried to kick him. 

“I know you want this,” Tom hissed, his face close to Jared’s. “Stop fighting me.” His lips roughly crushed against Jared’s, the older man gripping Jared’s chin tightly with his free hand to prevent the younger man from turning his head away from him. “Stop acting like you don’t want this as much as I do.” As he spoke, Tom reached down with the hand that wasn’t holding Jared’s wrists to the floor and unzipped his pants, reaching into the hole and pulling his cock out. 

In one quick movement, Tom roughly shoved Jared so that he was on his stomach, grabbing his wrists once more in case Jared tried anything. He spit into his palm and stroked his cock a few times, knowing that it wasn’t going to be enough but not really caring. Jared deserved what he was about to get because he was lying to Tom. Maybe a little pain would make Jared finally admit what he wanted. 

Without any further preparation, Tom lined himself up with Jared’s tight hole and pushed in, not stopping until he was buried to the hilt. He felt Jared struggling and he grabbed the dark mop of hair and shoved the younger man’s face harder against the floor, knowing that Jared couldn’t reach him in this position with his hands tied. His other hand moved to Jared’s hip, gripping tightly to keep Jared in place, his fingers bruising Jared’s soft flesh.

Pain flared through Jared’s entire body and he felt like he was being ripped in two. He was not a virgin by any means, but he had never been used so violently before. Jared felt his muscle and tossing ripping as blood oozed out around Tom’s dick, but there was nothing Jared could do about it. His hips and his face were being roughly held down against the floor of the van and Tom was pounding into him relentlessly. If he moved, it just made the pain increase, so Jared just stayed put, knowing that if he just breathed through this, it would all be over soon. 

Thankfully, Tom wasn’t too worried about Jared’s pleasure, so when he felt Tom’s body tense above him and Tom’s cum filling him, Jared knew that it was over. Finally, it was over. Tom pulled off Jared and the younger man felt cum and blood leaking from his abused hole. The younger man didn’t even fight as Tom got him dressed again and drove him back to his house. 

“We’re here, Jared,” Tom explained, grabbing Jared’s arm before he could get out of the car. “Nothing happened here, Jared, do you hear me?!” he hissed, gripping Jared’s arm a little tighter. “If you tell _anyone_ about this, I’ll deny it. No one will believe you -- _especially_ Jensen. And I’ll tell everyone that you came onto me but I rejected you because you are _supposed_ to be in love with Jensen. Remember, they all know that you had a crush on me.”

It was true – all of their friends were aware of the fact that Jared had been crushing on Tom in high school. “I won’t tell anyone,” Jared whispered softly, his voice rough with the tears that he had cried. Once Tom released his arm, Jared slid out of the car, taking it slowly because he was in so much pain. Jensen still wasn’t home, and Jared was glad. He locked the door as soon as he was in the house, the younger man ready to head into his bedroom where he could get out of these clothes and take a nice long shower.

Jared turned the water on as hot as he could stand it and rubbed at his skin until it was an angry red color. He still felt dirty when the water ran cold and forced him to get out of the shower. He pulled on a pair of baggy sweat pants and the hoodie that he always wore when he was sick or upset. Maybe if he could hide the evidence of everything that had happened, he could pretend that it never really happened – he could pretend that one of Jensen’s best friends hadn’t just raped him in the back of his van. Of course, the images running through his head and the pain that his body was in made it kind of hard to forget.

Just as he was about to climb into bed, there was a knock at the door. Jared knew that it couldn’t be Jensen because he had a key, and Jared was honestly a little reluctant to answer the door. Calming his nerves, Jared walked to the front door and looked through the peep hole, frowning when he saw Sandy standing on the other side. He pulled the door open and took a step back, allowing Sandy in.

As she walked in, Sandy babbled, “I’m sorry to bother you guys tonight, but this is urgent,” she explained, flopping down on the couch. She was about to continue with her story, but Jared’s face caught her attention and she stopped. “Oh my God, Jared, what happened to you?” she exclaimed, jumping back up and gently cupping the sides of Jared’s face. There were visible bruises on his jaw and his right cheek, and Sandy was getting worried. She had been friends with Jared since they were in middle school and she had never known Jared to get into a fight before. And these bruises hadn’t come from basketball practice because she had seen him at school after that. Something had happened.

Shaking his head, Jared lied, “N-Nothing. It was stupid. It’s nothing to worry about.” He could tell that Sandy didn’t believe him, but he wasn’t going to tell her anything. She wouldn’t believe him about his rape, either. Tom had said so, and Jared believed him. 

His eyes widened when Sandy started walking towards his and Jensen’s room, the younger man quickly following after her. He hadn’t had time to get rid of the clothes he had been wearing and if Sandy saw them, there would be no denying what had happened. “Sandy, wait, what are you doing?” Jared asked, trying to stop her from continuing through the house though she just pushed past him.

All Hell broke loose when Sandy stepped into the room and her eyes fell on Jared’s clothes. “Jared, what happened?” she asked again, her voice firmer this time as Jared refused to meet her gaze. She was pretty sure she had an idea of what had happened, but she wasn’t one to jump to conclusions. And she needed to hear it from Jared before she freaked out about something like this – especially if she was wrong.

He didn’t have an excuse – he didn’t have a lie that he could tell her. Instead, he broke down, the younger man falling to his knees on the floor as he sobbed. Jared was an idiot to think that he could just forget. 

Moments later, he felt Sandy’s arms around him, petting his hair and whispering soft words in his ear. It only made him break further as he explained the night’s earlier events in vivid detail, even going as far as telling her _who_ had raped him. And much to his surprise, Sandy believed him.

After a few moments, Sandy coaxed Jared to lie down in the bed with her, Sandy’s fingers continuing to stroke through Jared’s hair in an attempt to comfort him. “Jared, you have to go to the hospital. And we need to tell the police. They can put him behind bars where he can never hurt you again,” she explained, her voice pleading with Jared. She knew from the paper that she had written in high school about rape victims that the hardest thing to do was come forward. Sandy wasn’t going to let Jared be a silent victim. “Please, it’ll help.”

“No,” Jared answered immediately, shaking his head. “I can’t. Please, no one will believe me!” Tears continued to streak down his cheeks as Jared explained, “They all know that I had a crush on him. He’ll say that I came onto him and he rejected me and that I’m just making this up because I feel stupid.” Again, he shook his head. “I just want to forget. Please, just let me forget.” Quickly, he turned his head and looked up at his friend, his eyes serious. “You can’t tell anyone! Promise me that you won’t tell!”

Although every fiber of her being was telling her that she needed to either convince Jared to come forward or tell Jensen, she reluctantly nodded. Jared just looked so scared and helpless, and she just couldn’t disagree. “I won’t tell anyone,” she assured Jared. “I promise. But Jared, even if you had a crush on him years ago, that doesn’t give him the right to do this to you. And if you just tell someone, they’ll believe you. You’re not a liar. I believe you. And everyone else will, too.”

The only answer she received was a shake of Jared’s head, the younger man leaning his head back against her chest as he allowed his eyes to slip closed. “Please just don’t tell anyone,” he whispered softly before the exhaustion took over and he was sleeping. Sandy continued to run her fingers through Jared’s hair, knowing that she had just signed herself up to spend the night here with Jared. She didn’t mind though. Jared was going to need all of the support she could give him, and she was willing to be here for him as long as he wanted her here.

**~~**

It was well after midnight by the time Jensen finally got home, the young man sighing as he pushed the door open and slunk into the house. He was tired and he had a feeling that Jared was already sleeping, so he didn’t feel bad about just crashing. When he walked into their room and saw Jared sleeping with Sandy, a small smile came to his lips. Seeing Jared sleeping with one of his friends wasn’t unusual on nights that Jensen had to work late. After all, the younger man was clingy, not that Jensen minded. Sighing, he headed out to the couch, not wanting to wake Sandy because she looked so damn peaceful sleeping there.

Once he had a blanket and a pillow from the linen closet, Jensen sacked out on the couch, knowing that he needed to be at work earlier than usual the next morning because he still had a few reports to finish. Of course, that meant he was going to have to wait to speak with Jared until after he got home, but Jensen just had to deal with that. There was another board meeting coming up soon, and he was going to mention something about Mitch to the higher-ups. He didn’t want to get the older man fired necessarily, but he was sick of the shit that Mitch kept pulling. Jared and Jensen didn’t get much time together alone as it was, and Mitch was fucking with the time they did get together. Jensen wasn’t going to just stand by and let that happen.

He didn’t get much sleep that night because he had to be at work at six in the morning, but he did catch a few hours. Before he left the house, Jensen tip-toed into his bedroom, pressing a soft kiss to Jared’s cheek and ruffling the young man’s hair before he placed a note on the nightstand for him that explained he would be home early tonight and he would make it up to Jared for not being around last night. With one final kiss to Jared’s cheek, Jensen headed out of the house, climbing into his truck and driving to the college he worked at.

When Jared woke a few hours later, he was still in pain. The memories of the night before threatened to overwhelm him and he found himself swallowing back the urge to vomit. He rolled onto his side, causing Sandy to stir, and stood, running into the bathroom where he could be alone for a few minutes – he just needed to compose himself a little bit. This was all becoming too much and Jared was worried that he wasn’t going to be able to handle this.

The knock on the door made him jump, Jared taking a deep breath before he opened the door. “Jared, you need to come with me to the hospital,” Sandy explained, her face pale with worry. “ _Now_.” She took a step to the side so Jared could see the bed and his face paled as well. Where he had been sleeping was a large blood stain, letting Jared know that the trauma he had sustained the evening before wasn’t over. He had no choice; he needed to go to the hospital.

Sandy drove way over the speed limit as she got them to the hospital, the young woman demanding that Jared be seen right away. She had a friend who worked there, Danneel Harris, and she made sure that Jared was put in a private room where she would examine him. “Jared, I need you to tell me what happened to make you bleed like this, okay honey?” she explained, smiling down at Jared kindly. “It’s okay. Whatever you say in this room ins confidential and the information won’t be shared with anyone other than the people in this room and your doctor. You can tell us, sweetie.”

This woman was familiar to Jared because he had seen her hanging out with Sandy a couple of times. They weren’t friends, but he felt safe with her for some reason. “Um…” he started, licking his lips as his eyes filled with tears in his shame. “I was raped last night.” Shaking his head, Jared explained, “I don’t want to talk about. I just…please, let’s not talk about it.” He just wanted to get out of here. Jensen was going to be worried about where he was. The thought had Jared swallowing back that same feeling as though he was going to vomit again. 

A small frown came to Danneel’s lips when Jared told her that he had been raped. “Jared, you have to go to the police, sweetie,” she explained. “The person who attacked you needs to be punished for it. Will you let me call them?” She had seen this many times before; a victim would come in with some bleeding and then refuse to speak with the police. Jared was no different. But Danneel was persistent. “Jared, this could happen again. He may try to hurt you again, or someone else. Do you want that?” It was harsh, but sometimes tough love was necessary. When Jared shook his head, Danneel smiled. “I didn’t think so. I’ll have someone call Special Victims Unit and they’ll come over to speak with you.” Turning towards the table beside her, Danneel pulled out a pair of gloves. “In the meantime, I’m going to need to perform a rape kit if that’s all right with you. Did your attacker use a condom?”

At Danneel’s question, Jared shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks. “N-No, he didn’t,” he answered, biting into his bottom lip. He could still remember the feeling of Tom’s seed leaking out of him and it made him sick. “Is-Is that bad? What’s that mean?” Jared asked, fear blossoming in his chest.

Slowly, Danneel shook her head. “Jared, it’s nothing to worry about. It just means that we have to be extra thorough, okay?” she explained, pulling out a few more items from the drawer she had just gotten the gloves from. She then handed Jared a hospital gown. “I’m gonna go call SVU now, all right? In the meantime, I want you to put this on for me. You can put your clothes over there on the chair so they’re out of the way. I’m also going to get Doctor Smith in here so he can perform the rape kit.”

Although Jared didn’t want any of this to happen, he merely nodded, letting Danneel know that he was going to cooperate. After all, he didn’t see that he had much of a choice. Once Danneel was gone, Sandy turned her attention to the closed door to offer Jared some privacy as he traded his clothes for the hospital gown that Danneel had given him. She quickly took Jared’s clothes from him and placed them on the chair when Jared was dressed, moving to the bed and taking his hand in a form of support. “You’re going to be fine, Jared. You just have to tell the officer’s what happened, and everything will be all right.” Giving Jared’s hand a gentle squeeze, Sandy promised, “Tom isn’t going to get away with this.”

**~~**

After the rape kit had been performed, Danneel tested Jared for STDs, including HIV and AIDS. The whole process terrified and humiliated Jared, but both Danneel and Sandy assured him that he shouldn’t feel that way. Still, he couldn’t help the way he was feeling about this whole thing. Now, it was time for Jared to speak with the detectives from the Special Victims Unit, and although Sandy had insisted that she was staying, Jared wanted to speak with them alone. He had to make sure they weren’t going to arrest Tom. If Tom was arrested, then Jensen would find out, and Jared couldn’t allow that to happen.

As the detectives walked in, Jared frowned, the young man burrowing into the hospital bed. He knew that they were only here to help, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared to death about having them here. “Hello Jared,” the man spoke, flashing his badge so Jared could see that he wasn’t lying. “My name is Detective Jeffrey Dean Morgan and this is my partner, Samantha Ferris. We’re here to speak with you about what happened last night.” Clearing his throat, he offered Samantha the chair closest to the door before he took the one next to it. “Why don’t we start from the beginning, Jared? Tell us what you remember.”

“Um…” Jared started, licking his lips as he tried to recall the events of last evening without giving too much away. “Jensen texted me and told me that he was going to be late, so we had to cancel our plans. He’s…my boyfriend; we were supposed to have plans last night, but his boss made him work late. So, I had a friend give me a ride home. But…he passed up my house and kept reminding me of how I had a crush on him when we were in high school. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with me, and after I started dating Jensen, I was fine with that. He pulled off into an alley a few blocks away from my place and he…forced me into the back of his van. He pinned me down and…then he raped me.” Tears slid down Jared’s cheeks as he told the story, the young man’s shoulders shaking with his sobs. “When he was finished, he dressed me and he drove me back to my place.”

Detective Ferris didn’t miss the fact that Jared said it was his friend who had attacked him. “So, you knew your attacker?” she asked, her voice soft as if she were speaking to a frightened animal who was about to bolt. And it fit because that’s how Jared felt right now. When Jared nodded, Samantha frowned softly, feeling upset that these things happened to people. But she knew that if Jared would just give up the identity of his attacker, they could get Jared the justice he deserved. “Who was it Jared? Who attacked you? All you have to do is tell us who did this.”

She was good – Jared had to give her that. Of course, Jared knew he didn’t _have_ to tell her, but he’d already said that he knew him. Wiping away another tear, Jared answered, “It was Tom Welling.” Quickly, shaking his head, Jared begged, “But you can’t arrest him! He said no one would believe me and I can’t let Jensen know!” Again, he shook his head, breaking down once more. “I won’t help you get him,” Jared assured them, tears spilling down his cheeks because he wanted Tom to go to jail, but he just couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t let Jensen find out what happened because he didn’t know if Jensen would believe him. And Jared couldn’t handle it if Jensen didn’t believe him. “I won’t help you.”

Seeing that Jared was adamant about the idea of not helping them get Tom, the detectives knew that they had to stop pushing. He was a rape victim and they knew better than anyone that traumatizing a victim further was going to get them nowhere. “All right, Jared,” Jeffrey nodded, licking his lips as he pushed himself to his feet. “You don’t have to help us right now. But here, take my card and if you change your mind, give me a call.” Handing Jared his card, Jeffrey and Samantha walked out of the room, leaving Jared alone with his thoughts. 

As they walked down the hallway, Samantha turned her attention to Jeffrey, a small frown on her lips. “Do you think he’s going to come around?” she asked. Jared was the only way they were going to get Tom Welling. Without a statement, there was no way they could take Tom in. From what she had been told before they went to speak with Jared, the young man had showered before he came to the hospital, so she wasn’t really counting on any evidence from the rape kit. They just had to hope that Jared didn’t destroy the clothes that he had been wearing or the sheets that he had slept in the night before. They had already taken the liberty of asking Jared’s friend Sandy to go to his home and gather that piece of evidence just in case.

The only answer she received was a small shrug from Jeffrey. He honestly had no idea if Jared was going to work with them. Given time, some victims came around and helped put their attacker behind bars, but it was different with everyone. “We just have to hope that he does,” Jeffrey whispered. “I think he will. I just hope that it’s not too late when he makes his decision.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen sighed as he pushed himself out of his chair, grabbing his jacket as he headed towards the door. He was looking forward to a night with Jared and he wasn’t going to let Mitch stop him this time. 

Over the last few days, Jared had been very different, and Jensen was worried. Honestly, Jensen was starting to wonder if he and Jared were even all right. They had been together for three and a half years now and Jensen was worried that his other half was getting bored with him. 

Jensen had been planning this proposal for a few days now, wanting to get everything just right. He had never really been the romantic type, but he had gotten a few pointers from his friend Sophia, and now he was finally ready. Maybe by proposing tonight, he would get Jared out of this funk that he seemed to be in. It seemed almost as though Jared was mad at him. 

They hadn’t had sex since that night he was forced to work overtime and cancel their plans. Jared had promised that he wasn’t mad at him, but Jensen was starting to wonder. After all, they had always had a very active sex life, but lately, Jared hadn’t wanted to be with him. Hell, Jared got twitchy every time Jensen tried to touch him, even if it wasn’t sexual. Sure, Jared would always try to shake it off, telling Jensen that he wasn’t in the mood, or he wasn’t feeling well, but Jensen thought that there was more to it. The sex wasn’t the only thing that had changed about Jared lately, after all. He had been withdrawn and scared. Loud noises and raised voices had Jared jumping like a child.

Even his clothing had changed. Lately, Jared had been wearing baggy, dark clothes, including his hoodie that was reserved for when he was sick or upset. He’d been refusing to go out with their friends, especially when Tom was involved, and Jensen just didn’t understand why. When people got too close to him, Jared would shrink in on himself and do everything in his power to stay away from them. If someone touched the man, he’d nearly have a heart attack and it was honestly scaring Jensen. Thankfully, Jared still allowed him to offer some comfort every now and then. Especially after they were in large crowds and someone had accidentally brushed against him. Then Jensen was the _only_ one allowed to touch him.

But tonight, Jensen was hoping all of that changed. He had everything planned out and he was going to propose to Jared, finally. Jensen knew what he wanted, and that was to have Jared with him for the rest of his life. He had never wanted to be with someone so much in his whole life, which could only mean he was really in love; he had found his soul mate. Sure, there were butterflies in his belly now, but he was pretty sure there was no way Jared was going to say no. As far as he knew, Jared loved him as much as he loved Jared, so why would he say no?

It only took him a few minutes to get home, Jensen breaking the speed limits all the way there. Thankfully, there were no police officers on the road at this hour; otherwise Jensen may have been in trouble. Though he really wouldn’t have cared. He would take the hit of a speeding ticket if it meant that he got to Jared faster. After all, if Jared was following his usual routine, he would be in the shower right now, and if Jensen timed this right, he could make it in time to set everything up before Jared got out. 

When he walked through the door, Jared was sitting on the couch, tears sliding down his cheeks as he stared off into the distance. It wasn’t the first time Jensen had walked in on Jared crying like this, and it was another thing that worried him. 

Moving towards the younger man, Jensen slowly took a seat next to him. “Jay?” he whispered, his brow creasing with worry. “Jared, baby, are you all right?” Still, there was no answer.

Without thinking, Jensen reached for his boyfriend, his hand landing on Jared’s shoulder. The small action snapped Jared out of whatever daze he was in, the younger man jumping as a shocked gasp escaped him, his eyes wide with fear. “J-Jensen?” he whispered softly, wiping his cheeks free of tears. “When did you get home?” He hadn’t heard Jensen coming in, but that didn’t say much. It seemed as though he had been spacing out more often than not. But it wasn’t his fault. Every time he had a moment alone to think, all he could hear were Tom’s whispered words that he would be coming back for him – that he would have Jared again, and there was nothing that was going to stop him.

“Just a few minutes ago,” Jensen whispered softly, pulling his hand away as though he had been burned. Scaring Jared had been the last thing he wanted to do, but it seemed that he couldn’t help it these days. Everything he did frightened his lover, and there was nothing he could do about it. “Are you all right, baby? What were you thinking about just now?”

Jared quickly shook his head at Jensen’s question. “Nothing. It’s not important,” he assured his boyfriend. He wiped another tear from his cheek as he pushed himself off the couch, not willing to sit so close to Jensen right now. It seemed like all Jensen wanted to do lately was ask him questions and coddle him. And when he wasn’t trying that, he was trying to get Jared’s clothes off, and Jared just didn’t have it in him right now for either one of those things. “Are you hungry? I can make dinner,” he started, already moving towards the kitchen.

Quickly, Jensen jumped off the couch and followed after Jared. “No, baby, let me make dinner,” he insisted, not wanting Jared to nearly burn down the house again like the last time. Jared wasn’t a very good cook as it was, but now he was even worse than before because he spaced out so damn much. “You can just…sit in the kitchen with me and talk, all right?” At least that was better than Jared trying to cook and accidentally killing them both in a blaze of fire.

For some reason though, Jared didn’t want to do that. Jared knew that Jensen would want to talk about things that had been going on for the last few days, and Jared really didn’t want to talk about it. “I think I’m just gonna go take a shower,” he explained, smiling softly at Jensen before he all but bolted for the bathroom, not even bothering to make an excuse as to why he ducked away from the kiss Jensen was planning on planting on his lips. Sure, he’d already taken a shower today, but taking another one couldn’t hurt. And since he was playing hooky from school for the next few days until he got himself healed up, Jared really didn’t have much else to do with his time.

By the time Jared got out of the shower, Jensen had already set the table and had food on their plates. Everything looked so beautiful. Jensen always did have a knack for cooking. And his food always turned out perfectly. Tonight was no different, and Jared’s stomach growled impatiently. Jensen had made his favorite meal – oven-roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and a broccoli and cauliflower medley. It must have been some kind of special occasion, though Jared wasn’t sure what it could be.

A wide smile came to Jensen’s lips when he saw Jared, the older man tossing the lighter he’d used to light the candles in the drawer where he’d gotten it from. “Hey baby,” he greeted, his smile widening just a bit. “C’mon, sit down. I made your favorite.” Jared may not have known tonight was a special occasion, but Jensen was going to clue him in soon. Well, after dinner, anyway. Jensen didn’t want to make his boyfriend wait to eat because he hadn’t missed the sound of Jared’s belly grumbling, so it was obvious that Jared was hungry. Besides, there was that old saying that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Well, Jensen was going with that saying right now.

Doing as he was told, Jared took his seat at the table, smiling softly at Jensen. After all, Jensen had done such a nice job of setting the mood, though Jared was pretty sure where this was headed and he just wasn’t ready for that. He knew that Jensen was realizing something was wrong. They had been so active in the bed before and now Jared barely let Jensen touch him; any fool could see something had changed. Jared was guessing this was Jensen’s last ditch effort to get them back to where they were, but Jared _wasn’t ready_. He hadn’t even had the stones to tell Jensen that he had been raped yet. There was no way in Hell he was going to be able to lie in the bed and let Jensen have his way with him. Hell, Jared was pretty sure he was still bruised _down there_ , so there was just no way.

Dinner was eaten in almost silence, Jared noticing that Jensen was staring at him a few times and giving the older man a small smile. After all, he didn’t know what else to do, so this was as good as it got. Jensen was of course trying to strike up a conversation, but Jared wasn’t being all that responsive. He just didn’t feel like talking. And Jensen seemed like he was nervous about something, which had Jared in a panic mode. What if Jensen didn’t like the way he was acting now and he wanted to break up with him. It wasn’t like Jared could blame him, but Jared wasn’t sure if he could do this alone. Even though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Jared still loved Jensen; still needed Jensen.

Jensen was a nervous wreck and it was fucking pathetic. Jared loved him, and there was no reason why he would say no when he proposed, so Jensen didn’t see why he was so nervous! Finally, he just worked up enough courage to do it without thinking anymore. “Jared, there’s something that I want to ask you,” he started, licking his lips as he pushed himself out of his seat. Sophia had warned him to be romantic, but he just didn’t know how to do that in this kind of situation. “Do you…remember when we first met?” he asked, smiling softly at the memory as Jared nodded.

Jensen remembered it like it was yesterday. He had been filling in for Christian at the college because Mitch had refused to give the other man the day off and it was Steve’s birthday. After all, Jensen hadn’t had any plans, so he agreed to take Christian’s shift so he could hang out with his boyfriend. Of course, the night before, he hadn’t gotten any sleep, so he was tired as all Hell, though it was nothing a cup of coffee couldn’t fix.

Once he had his coffee, Jensen turned to leave and a freshman, his first day at the college, ran straight into him, spilling Jensen’s coffee all over him. Luckily, Jensen had a spare shirt in his car, otherwise that would have been very embarrassing. The freshman, Jared, had been so embarrassed and he looked like he was about to vomit. Of course, Jensen was too infatuated with him to really even care.

“Oh my God! I am so sorry!” Jared had exclaimed, the younger man’s cheeks turning beat red. “I didn’t even see you there. I wasn’t paying attention, I guess, and then just…badness.” Frowning, Jared shook his head, running his long fingers through the thick mop of chestnut hair on his head. “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you? I mean, can I buy you another cup of coffee, at least?”

Actually, that had sounded like a damn good plan, but Jensen was already going to be late, so he didn’t have time to get to know Jared like he wanted to. “Yeah…how about tonight after my shift ends?” Jensen suggested, a small smile on his lips when Jared gasped softly at him. It only took Jared a few more seconds to nod, his bangs falling in his face, covering his eyes as Jared smiled back at him, dimples denting his cheeks. “Great. I’ll meet you here? Say, around eight o’clock?”

That had been three years, six months, and ten days ago, and to this day, they were still in love. “Jared, I love you so much,” Jensen whispered softly, licking his lips as he gazed at his lover from under his lashes. “Will you marry me?” His hand shook a bit as he opened the little box, revealing a simple silver ring with three small diamonds in the center to add a little decoration.

A shocked gasp escaped Jared when Jensen asked him to marry him. Well, that had been very unexpected. Seriously, he had no idea Jensen was ready to take that next step. He was actually expecting Jensen to break up with him because he had been so distant the last few days; a proposal had been so far from his mind. 

“I’m sorry,” Jared whispered with a small shake of his head. “I can’t.”

As much as he wanted to marry Jensen, Jared wasn’t ready. Maybe if he hadn’t been raped, he would have said yes, but there was no way he could do it now. He didn’t deserve Jensen now. 

Jared didn’t stay to see the look on Jensen’s face, instead jumping out of his chair and running towards their bedroom. Tears slid down his cheeks as he flopped onto the bed. A few days ago, he’d had it all – an excellent boyfriend, a perfect school record, a wonderful life. But now, he felt like everything had been ripped away from him and he just couldn’t breathe. He supposed that he had Tom to thank for that.

To say that Jensen was shocked would have been an understatement. There weren’t words for how he was feeling right now. He needed an explanation; needed to know why Jared had said no when they both loved each other the way they did. Maybe he was wrong and Jared didn’t love him as much as he thought he did. Quickly, Jensen pushed himself to his feet, jogging to their bedroom so he could talk to Jared.

Inside the room, Jensen could see that Jared was crying. The older man walked towards his lover with a small, concerned frown on his lips. “Jared, what’s wrong?” he asked, taking a seat on the bed with the younger man, ignoring the way Jared flinched at the sound of his voice. “Baby, you can talk to me. Did something happen to make you…change like this?”

Although Jared had been spending most of his time trying to prevent Jensen from finding out, he figured now he kind of owed Jensen an explanation. After all, he had just turned him down after a marriage proposal, and he didn’t want Jensen to think that he didn’t love him anymore. “Yes,” he whispered softly, biting into his bottom lip as he pulled his knees into his chest, arms circling around his shins as his hands grabbed his ankles.

Well, that explained a lot. Now at least Jensen knew there was a reason for Jared’s odd behavior the last few days. But it wasn’t enough just knowing that _something_ happened. He wanted to know what had happened so he could fix it and make it better. Jensen _needed_ to fix this because if he didn’t, he was afraid that he was going to lose Jared. “What happened, baby?” he asked softly, daring to move a little closer, his hand reaching out to stroke Jared’s knee comfortingly. 

When Jensen stroked his knee, Jared flinched at the sudden contact, but Jensen kept his hand there nonetheless. “Um…it happened the night that you had to stay at work late. I asked Tom if he could give me a ride home, and he did. But…before he brought me back, he drove past our house into the alley a few blocks up, and…” Another tear slid down Jared’s cheek as he sniffled, knowing that he had to keep going. “He raped me, Jen.”

The last of the words were whispered out so lowly that Jensen had to strain his ears to hear what Jared said. His eyes widened with shock when he realized that Jared had just accused Tom of raping him. No, there was no way that Tom would do something like that! Tom wasn’t that kind of person! He could believe that Jared was raped because he showed all of the classic signs, but not by Tom. It had to be a misunderstanding. “What?” he breathed, giving his head a small shake. “Jared, no, that’s not – I mean, are you sure? Maybe it wasn’t Tom. Maybe…someone else was hurting you and Tom saved you, and now you’re just confused.”

Shaking his head, Jared whispered, “I’m not confused, Jensen. I know exactly what happened. I remember every bit of it.” His gaze was unfocused. “Everything he said to me. The way he pushed me into the back of his van and told me that I still wanted him. That feelings like that didn’t just go away.” Another tear slid down Jared’s cheek as he continued, “When he pushed into me, it felt like I was being ripped apart. I couldn’t move. I…Oh God, Jensen, it was horrible. I didn’t want to believe that Tom would do something like this either, but I was right there. It was happening to me.”

“No!” Jensen yelled, shaking his head adamantly. “Jared, Tom wouldn’t do something like this! It had to have been someone else. You’re remembering it wrong because you’re traumatized. Someone else hurt you. All you have to do is think harder and you’ll remember who really hurt you.”

Tears sprang to Jared’s eyes when he realized that Jensen didn’t believe him. Something broke inside him and he felt white hot anger pulsing through his entire body. Jensen didn’t believe that Tom would hurt him? He could believe that he had been attacked, just as long as Tom wasn’t his attacker. “I know who attacked me, Jensen!” Jared yelled, pushing himself to his feet and shoving Jensen away from him. “It’s not some misunderstanding. _Tom_ raped me! And if you can’t believe me, then I can’t be with you right now.”

At Jared’s words, Jensen’s brows knit in confusion. “What do you mean you can’t be with me right now?” he asked, shock clear in his voice. “Are you…breaking up with me right now?” No, this wasn’t happening. Jensen wasn’t going to let this happen. He couldn’t lose Jared. Not now – not ever. But Jared was getting his duffel bag and packing up his stuff, and this was all too real. Jensen had to stop this. “Jared, stop, don’t do this,” he begged, grabbing Jared’s elbow and trying to stop him from packing any more of his things, but Jared jerked out of his touch.

How the hell had everything gotten so out of hand in such a short amount of time? Jared wouldn’t even look at him, and Jensen didn’t know how to make this better. “Jared, let’s just talk about this, baby. Just…slow down. Hang on a minute and just talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jared insisted, zipping his bag after tossing his last pair of boxers inside and slinging it over his shoulder. “I can’t be around you right now. I can’t…be with someone who won’t believe me about something this huge.”

Angrily, Jensen grabbed Jared’s bag and yanked it off his shoulder, tossing it onto the bed. “You’re not leaving,” he assured Jared, something in the back of his mind telling him that he needed to back off because he was going to scare Jared. But he couldn’t Jared was going to leave and Jensen couldn’t let that happen. “Jared, please, talk to me.”

Grabbing his bag again, Jared shoved past Jensen without another word and headed towards the door, slamming it shut behind him. He didn’t have a car, but dammit, he would walk the two miles to his parents’ house if he had to. After all, he wasn’t going to burden his friends with his presence, and his parents would be glad to have him back home for a few weeks. Just until Jared could sort this all out. He just needed some time to think about everything that had happened this past week, that’s all.

As soon as he knocked on the door and his mother answered, she knew something was wrong. Jared broke down again as she pulled him into her arms and stroked his hair. “Jared, baby, what happened?” she asked, ushering Jared into the house and quickly ordering Jared’s older brother Matt to take his things upstairs to his old room.

Jared shook his head slightly as his mother helped him into the house. He didn’t want her to know everything, but he knew he couldn’t hide his and Jensen’s fight from her. “Jensen and I had a fight,” he whispered softly between his tears. “We’re…taking a break, and I had nowhere else to go.”

Frowning, his mother led him to a chair in the dining room and sat him down, shaking her head sadly. She really thought Jensen and Jared were going to make it. Hell, he had just been over here a few days ago asking Sophia about good ways to propose to Jared. It was all just so strange. “Honey, you know you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like,” she promised, giving Jared a small smile. He was her son, after all. This would always be his home as long as he wanted it to be.

**~~**

It had been three weeks since Jensen and Jared split. Jared’s parents found out about the rape a few days after Jared moved in; he’d had a nightmare and he had apparently been screaming about it in his sleep. Unlike Jensen, they believed him without an explanation. They were absolutely horrified that Jensen didn’t do the same, and Jared had to convince Matt and his father not to confront Jensen about it. Hell, he had to convince Matt not to go over to Jensen’s place and clock him one.

Sophia wasn’t as easy to talk down. Of course, Jared had made sure that she didn’t go punch Jensen like she wanted to, but that didn’t stop her from calling the man and screaming at him for not believing his own boyfriend. Though Jared supposed that Jensen got off a lot easier than he would have if Jared hadn’t talked her down, so he didn’t really feel all that bad about it. Then again, his sister calling Jensen opened the door for Jensen to start calling his house to talk with Jared – begging him to get back with him – but the younger man always refused. 

All of their friends had been shocked by the break-up, but now his rape was almost like public knowledge, so they understood it, and everyone had their own opinion about it. He’d lost a lot of friends over this because some people didn’t believe him, but he had also gained a few friends. Christian Kane, of all people, believed him, and they were now closer than they had ever been. Turned out Christian never liked Tom, but he kept it to himself so the peace was kept between all of them. Of course, Christian and Jensen weren’t all that close anymore, and Jared knew that it was his fault, which made him feel awful. Then there were the few who couldn’t choose a side at all. It was like Tom vs. Jared, and he hated it. Jensen was still on the neutral side with a few others, like Chad.

Before all of this happened, Jared had always been known as the happy, goofy kid, and he missed that. Now, he was anti-social, restrained because he was afraid to get close to people. On more than one occasion, Tom’s football buddies had shoved Jared into a locker as they passed him and called him a liar. Some of them even tried to _beat the truth_ out of Jared because they were so sure that he was lying about Tom. 

When Tom found out that Jared had tattled, he had gone around and assured everyone that it was a lie. He’d acted hurt and insisted that someone else, a stranger, had attacked Jared and Jared was just blaming him because he was the _safe_ target. Tom had pretended to be hurt and confused, but Jared knew that it was all an act. Unfortunately, no one else could see through the façade; especially not Jensen. 

For the most part, Jared ignored all of it and just went about his business. He stuck to himself in class and only hung out with Christian and his boyfriend, Steve, and sometimes Matt and Sophia if they weren’t doing anything else. And he was getting better. Until the night the phone rang and he answered it without thinking.

“Jared, baby, it’s so good to hear your voice again,” Tom spoke coolly into the phone, the smirk on his lips practically seeping into his tone. “I tried to call earlier, but your sister answered and I didn’t want to upset her. I mean, what would the point of starting something be?” He hummed softly as he pushed himself into his seat a little further. “You know where I am right now Jared? Outside of your house in my van, just thinking about the last time you were in here with me. God, Jared, I want to do it again. Don’t you?” Chuckling at the gasped breath he received from the other end, Tom whispered, “I’ll have that ass again sometime soon, baby. You can count on it.”

The line went dead and Jared felt like his lungs had just been ripped out of his chest. His fingers scratched at the chair he was sitting in as he pushed himself up to his feet and ran towards the bathroom, grabbing the small piece of paper with a suicide helpline’s number written on it that a girl from school gave him one day. As he reached for his razor, Jared dialed the number, his hands shaking as a voice answered on the other line.

He didn’t know what to say. “H-Hi,” he started with, biting into his bottom lip as he looked at the razor blade in his hands. The people who ran these things were students from his school he knew, so he didn’t have to explain himself once he told the man on the other line his name. “He-He called me,” Jared whispered, sniffling softly. “Tom…he said that he was going to do it again, and I can’t…oh God, I can’t go through it again.”

Misha frowned as he listened to Jared babble about Tom wanting to rape him again. “Jared, I need you to calm down for me, all right?” he soothed, giving his head a small shake. He had been the victim of a rape too a few years ago, so he knew how to handle victims. First though, he had to keep Jared talking long enough for someone to find him and stop him from hurting himself. He happened to know Jared’s brother, Matt, and they were close friends, which gave him even more of an incentive to succeed with talking Jared out of committing suicide. “My name’s Misha. I know what you’re going through because I was right where you were a few years ago. And I’m telling you right now, Jared, what you’re about to do isn’t the answer.”

Shaking his head, Jared whispered, “You don’t know that. I can’t let him touch me again, and there’s nothing stopping him. He said that he was outside my house right now!” He felt the tears sliding down his cheeks as Misha spoke soothing words in his ears. Misha told him to think of someone he felt safe with, and his thoughts automatically went to Jensen. Jared wanted to be with Jensen right now, but that wasn’t going to happen. The thought had Jared pressing the razor blade against his skin harder.

“As for Tom being outside, it’s a lie, Jared,” he assured the younger man. “He’s just trying to play with your head, and you’re letting him. Just think about something else. Think about someplace warm and safe. Maybe a time before Tom hurt you. Stay focused on that place and time and just breathe. Let everything else slip away, Jared.”

As Jared thought of that place and time, his breathing started to even out and he was feeling a little better. Suddenly, the razor blade was snatched from his hands and Matt was dragging him off the bathroom floor. “What the hell are you doing, Jared?!” 

Without a word, Matt led Jared to the living room where he sat him down on the couch and called the rest of the family in. They were changing their number and getting new locks on their doors tomorrow. But right now, they had to worry about Jared, who had just been about to commit suicide. They had all spoken about Jared going to a therapy group where they could help him deal with his feelings, and now they were going to speak with Jared about it.

His mother was the first to speak, her features drawn and tired. “Jared, sweetie, we think that you need to get some help,” she whispered, biting into her bottom lip. “There’s a group on campus that helps sexual abuse and rape survivors much like yourself get past this dark time. We’d like for you to go there a few nights a week and try to get your life back, honey.”

Jared knew all about these groups. He really didn’t want to go, but it seemed important to his family, so how could he say no. Besides, he had almost killed himself, so Jared would do just about anything to make him feel better right now. “All right,” he whispered softly, biting into his bottom lip as his hazel gaze met his families’. “I’ll go. I can’t promise that it’s going to make me better, but I’ll try, I promise.”

And that was all anyone could really ask from him. There was a meeting scheduled for tomorrow night, and with a quick phone call from Matt to Misha, Jared had himself a seat in the group. Jared wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but he was going to try because he had promised. Of course, he was going to keep this his little secret. He didn’t need everyone to know and realize just how pathetic he really was. No, that he wanted to keep to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

“C’mon, Jen,” Tom whined as he hung all over Mike, frowning at Jensen. “You never go out anymore! I mean, seriously, when is the last time you had some fun?” Tom honestly couldn’t remember the last time Jensen came out with them and just let go. It had to have been after Jared left him, which had Tom smiling just a bit on the inside. 

Jensen wasn’t in the mood to go out. He hadn’t been in the mood since Jared walked out on him. But how the hell could he believe Jared when Tom was one of his best friends? Jensen had known Tom since they were in grade school, and there was no way he could do something like that. After all, Tom had been with Mike when Jared said it happened; the other man had vouched for him!

Still, sometimes Jensen wasn’t sure now that he was looking back on it. Sometimes, Tom would get pissed off when he was hitting on someone; if the other person wasn’t responding and he sometimes got a little rough with the person before backing off. Jensen hadn’t known about this until just recently when Tom slipped up one night after an argument with Mike. Tom had been horny and drunk and when the man he was hitting on hadn’t responded, Jensen had actually had to break the two of them up before a fight broke out. So maybe Tom _had_ hurt Jared. The thought made Jensen feel awful.

He wasn’t stupid; Jensen knew that he’d changed over the last month. After Jared broke up with him, Jensen knew that he’d become very secluded. Lately, he’d been getting drunk more often than not and he was always angry. He never went out anymore either, which he could tell was really pissing Tom off. But he couldn’t help it – he just wasn’t in the mood for fun when Jared wasn’t around.

There was only one way to get Jensen’s ass off of that couch and Tom knew it. “You know, Jared’s going to be there,” he explained, a small smile coming to his lips when he saw Jensen’s ears perk up just a bit. “He’s got class tonight and then he’s doing something with that guy he’s been hanging out with lately.” Another smirk came to his lips as Jensen stood, a confused frown marring his lips.

“What guy?” Jensen asked, feeling that familiar sense of rage that seemed to always take hold now. “Jared’s been seeing someone?” He’d just spoken to Jared a few weeks ago on the phone, and Jared told him he wasn’t ready to date again. Had he lied to him? Jared never lied – well, except about Tom, though that had been more of a misunderstanding than anything.

Now, Jensen had to go to the game tonight, even if it was just to see Jared and this new guy he was hanging out with. Jensen had heard Tom and Mike whispering a few weeks ago about Jared, but they refused to tell him what they were saying. It pissed him off, but he got over it pretty quickly after a few shots of Jack. And the soccer team he’d been working with had been saying things too, but Jensen never really paid attention to any of that because he just wasn’t in the mood for gossip. 

But now he was curious. Had Jared been seeing someone else without telling Jensen? Not that Jared had to report to him, or anything, but it would have been nice to be given a heads up. They had been broken up for almost two months now, but that didn’t mean Jensen wanted Jared to date someone else. He wanted Jared to be dating him, dammit! Still, he knew he couldn’t stop Jared from being with someone else, no matter how much he wanted to.

Once he had his coat, Jensen stormed off out the door, not bothering to wait for Mike and Tom as he climbed into his truck and drove off. He hadn’t been planning on riding with Tom anyway because he wasn’t going to be staying long. Just long enough to get to the bottom of this Jared issue, and then he was going to get the hell out of there and go back to his place where he could mope in peace. The beers in his system would really help with that – well, those beers and the other six pack he had waiting in the fridge for him. He wasn’t going to take any chances when it came to running out of his beer.

Getting to the school in record time, Jensen jumped out of his vehicle and walked through the doors. Jared’s class was over by now, so he must have been doing that _thing_ Tom had mentioned. It was fine, though – Jensen could wait. His mind was busy playing videos in his head of all the possible things Jared and this new guy friend of his could be doing at this hour, making Jensen angrier by the minute.

**~~**

Jared sighed as he listened to a young man telling the story of how someone had grabbed him after his shift and roughly raped him against the brick wall of a building. He was sitting next to Misha, and as the older man heard him whimper softly, he gave Jared’s knee a gentle squeeze. Hearing other people’s stories always had Jared thinking of his own attack; although he never spoke about it, the memory was always there, playing in his head like a bad movie. Misha knew all about it – of course – but no one else did. Jared had only ever told Misha and that was over the phone when he’d called the suicide helpline.

Over the last few weeks, he and Misha had become very close. Especially after Jared joined the therapy group for rape victims, which Misha led. Now, he was the only one who Jared didn’t mind getting physically close to. Sometimes, their hands would brush as they walked through the hallways together, and Jared didn’t flinch like he did every time someone else brushed against him. Misha kept telling him that it was progress, and Jared was finally starting to believe him. Misha had mentioned earlier this week that he wanted Jared to start talking at the meetings, but Jared wasn’t ready for that, and thankfully, Misha wasn’t pushing the issue.

“All right everyone,” Misha smiled as the last person finished up her story. “We’re all out of time for the evening, but we’ll meet back here next week at the same time.” As the people starting filtering out, Jared stayed back, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he bit his lower lip, waiting for people to stop talking to Misha so he could walk out with him.

There was a game tonight, and Jared knew that Tom was going to be here. It was the knowledge alone that had Jared shaking slightly, and not from the cold. “Hey, are you all right, Jay?” Misha asked once the last member of the group had left, Misha’s hand moving to touch Jared’s shoulder comfortingly. He’d seen Jared act this way before, and he knew that it had something to do with Tom Welling. That damn bastard. Misha would have loved to kick the guy’s ass, but he had never been in a fight before, and he didn’t want to get expelled for fighting. After all, the college had a strict no fighting policy. But for Jared, Misha was actually thinking about risking it.

Slowly, Jared shook his head, biting into his bottom lip once more. “N-No,” he whispered, looking up at Misha from under his long bangs. “Tom’s here tonight. There’s a home game, and I can’t…go out there alone. My brother’s on his way here, but I don’t know how long it’s going to take for him to get here.” Shrugging, Jared explained, “I was just…hoping you’d walk out with me, that’s all.”

Smiling, Misha nodded. “Of course I’ll walk outside with you.” It was completely understandable that Jared would be frightened to go out alone if his attacker was here; besides, Misha was more than willing to spend some more time with Jared. 

After he grabbed his jacket, Misha led the way out of the room. As soon as they got out of the school, Misha turned to make sure Jared was following, a small smile on his lips as Jared nearly bumped into him. There were so many things he wanted to say to the younger man, but he just couldn’t find the words. Instead, he merely smiled wider and cupped the younger man’s cheek, his fingers brushing through Jared’s hair gently. “You’re really improving from the first time we met,” he explained, a small smile on his lips. “I can tell you’re getting better, and I’m really proud of you, Jared.”

A small smile came to Jared’s lips. “Thank you,” he muttered softly before he wrapped his arms around Misha. He knew that he was improving because there was no way he could have been able to hug someone like this a few weeks ago. Now, even if it was just Misha that he could let touch him like this, he could still handle it. As far as he was concerned, this was a huge improvement. 

Before he had a chance to pull back, someone grabbed Misha by the collar of his shirt and hauled him away from Jared. The younger man barely registered that Jensen had been the one to grab Misha before Jensen had punched Misha in the nose. “Jensen!” Jared shrieked, watching in horror as Misha stumbled back against the building, holding his nose in pain. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“He’s the one you want now, Jared? Is that it?” Jensen asked, his words slightly slurred because of the alcohol in his system. “You fucking broke up with me because you wanted him instead, huh?” Shaking his head, Jensen scoffed. “You couldn’t just break up with me and spare me the trouble of feeling like an ass when I proposed. Instead, you dump me and make me look the bad guy? That’s fucked up, Jay!”

Jared’s brows knit in confusion as he listened to Jensen yelling at him about something that he hadn’t even done. “Jensen, I’m not dating Misha!” he exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. “He’s helping me get over what happened to me, dammit!” He hadn’t wanted to tell Jensen this, but he supposed that now he kind of had to. “I’ve been going to a therapy group for people who have survived rape. I didn’t want to tell you because…I don’t know why. Maybe I thought you’d think I was weak, or something. Misha’s the head of the group. We’re _friends_ , Jensen, that’s all.”

Seeing him again had opened old wounds and Jared just wanted to run away, but he couldn’t. If he went anywhere that was secluded like he wanted to, Tom could attack him again, and Jared wasn’t going to risk that. But then again, it may have been better than standing face-to-face with Jensen like this. Hell, he hadn’t even realized how much he missed him until just now, and it hurt like hell. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Jensen frowned, feeling his heart break for his ex-boyfriend. He spared a glance to the man who apparently led the group and was relieved to find that his nose didn’t seem to be broken. Of course, Jensen didn’t like how closely he was standing to Jared – like he fucking owned him, or something. If Jared belonged to anyone, it was Jensen. “Baby, I’m sorry,” Jensen whispered, his hand moving to Jared’s cheek as he pushed the younger man against the wall. “I’m sorry. I’ve been…crazy lately. I…can’t even think straight. Please, Jay, I need you to be with me. Please? I’m sorry about everything…just come back to me.”

Now that they were standing so close and Jared had gotten over the initial shock of Jensen punching Misha, he could hear the way Jensen’s words were slurring together, and he could smell the alcohol heavy on Jensen’s breath. “Jen, are you drunk?” Jared asked, a small frown on his lips as his eyes ticked to Misha. He could tell that the older man was confused, but he just didn’t have time to explain this to him right now. Jensen was still babbling about needing him, and Jared knew that it was true; Jensen needed him more than he thought he did. “Give me your keys, Jensen.”

As Jensen fished clumsily around in his pockets for his keys, Jared turned to Misha once more. “I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, giving his head a small shake. “I’ve never seen him like this before. Can-Can you tell Matt that I took Jensen home and that I’ll be back later?” When Misha nodded and assured him that he would do just that, Jared addressed him with a smile. “Thanks. I’ll call you later.”

Once Jared had strapped the older man into the car, he silently made his way back to Jensen’s. The house was cold and empty, and Jared refused to let him go in alone. Being here was making Jared’s heart ache, but he knew that he had to make sure Jensen was all right before he could bolt. “Stay here,” he ordered, shoving his ex-boyfriend back onto the mattress when he tried to get up. “I’ll be right back.”

He quickly moved to the bathroom, filled a glass of water, and headed back into the bedroom. “Here, drink this,” he instructed, watching as Jensen took the glass and downed the liquid. It wouldn’t guarantee that Jensen wouldn’t have a hangover in the morning, but it would maybe lessen the blow. Sighing, Jared placed the empty glass on the nightstand, giving his head a small shake. “Jensen, what are you thinking?” he asked softly, frowning at his ex. “You know how dangerous it is to drink and drive. Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Shaking his head, Jensen explained, “I just wanted to see you.” Swallowing thickly, he reached for Jared, grabbing the younger man’s wrist and tugging gently. “Stay here with me, please? I miss you.” Pushing himself up so he could cup Jared’s cheek, he whispered, “God, I miss you so much, Jay. I haven’t been the same since you left. Nothing…makes sense anymore, baby.”

This was a big mistake and Jared knew it. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care when Jensen was begging him like this. He knew what Jensen was talking about because Jared felt the same way. Ever since he left Jensen, it seemed like everything had gone to Hell and he wanted to get back to normal. He couldn’t forgive Jensen for not believing him, but he could at least take a little comfort in knowing that Jensen felt the same way as he did. “All right,” he whispered softly, giving a small nod. “I’ll stay here with you.” Sighing, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and shook Jensen’s hand off him. “I have to call Matt and tell him that I’m not gonna be home tonight.”

Jared dialed Matt’s number and waited for the older man to answer the phone. As expected, Matt was pissed because he was with Jensen, but Jared didn’t care. He was a grown man, and he could hang out with whoever the hell he wanted to. Then again, Matt hadn’t liked it when he and Jensen first started going out because Jensen was older than him. Matt had insisted that he was too old, but Jared hadn’t cared. And he didn’t care if Matt was mad that Jared was staying here tonight either.

After hanging up the phone, Jared moved back to the bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and looking down at Jensen. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly, taking a chance and running his fingers through Jensen’s short cropped hair. God, he missed this so much. 

“M’fine,” Jensen mumbled, his eyes fluttering closed. Slowly, he rolled onto his side, his hand pressing against Jared’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Lay down with me,” he whispered softly, scooting over to offer Jared more room. To his surprise, Jared did as he was told, and Jensen smiled. He was definitely fine now that he had Jared in his arms again. 

Jared’s eyes slipped closed as Jensen’s arms wrapped around him, the younger man pushing himself closer. It felt familiar to be with Jensen this way, and much to Jared’s surprise, he wasn’t scared at all to have Jensen holding him like this. Misha had been right; Jared was definitely improving since the first time they’d spoken. Before he knew what was happening, Jensen’s lips were sliding along his neck and Jared was moaning softly in pleasure.

Another small moan escaped Jared as Jensen’s lips brushed against his jaw before sucking at his earlobe. It had been so long since he’d been touched by Jensen, and although he wasn’t ready for too much more, it still felt fantastic. But he couldn’t let himself get too close; not anymore. He couldn’t be with him anymore. Too much had happened and things changed. Jensen hadn’t believed him about Tom, and Jared couldn’t forgive that – at least not yet. Maybe after a little more time, but certainly not yet.

As the kissing continued, Jared allowed Jensen to roll them so that he was on top, Jensen’s lips capturing Jared’s in a heated kiss. Jared gladly kissed him back, his hands moving to fist in the older man’s hair as he pulled Jensen impossibly closer to him. A few weeks ago, he had cringed at the thought of being touched by anyone, and now here he was kissing Jensen like his life depended on it. And who the hell knows, maybe it did. After all, Jared was lost without the older man. He had almost committed suicide after they broke up with everything that had been going on, and now that thought was so far from his mind. 

Sure, Misha was to thank for most of that, but even when he was with Misha, he still had the thought creep up every now and then. Here with Jensen, he wasn’t thinking about it at all; he was only thinking about kissing his ex-boyfriend and making himself forget about Tom and what he did to him. “Jen,” he gasped softly when the kiss broke so they could breathe. “God, Jen, please?”

Lips sliding down Jared’s jaw to tease his neck again, Jensen whispered, “Please what, Jay?” Jensen was willing to give Jared whatever he wanted, but he wasn’t a mind-reader, and he didn’t want to do anything to make Jared curl in on himself again. If Jared wanted something, he was going to have to tell Jensen what it was. “Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll give it to you. Anything; all you have to do is ask.”

Shaking his head, Jared squeezed his eyes closed, trying to make his brain work. “I don’t know,” he mumbled softly. And honestly, he had no clue what he wanted. His mind was telling him that he wasn’t ready to be intimate with someone again so soon, but his body was all but begging for Jensen’s touch. This was all just so confusing. “I don’t know what I want, dammit!”

His fingers tightened their grip in Jensen’s hair as Jared pulled him down for another kiss, the younger man taking control this time. Pushing his tongue into Jensen’s mouth, Jared moaned softly once more when he felt Jensen’s fingers sliding up his shirt to touch the well-muscled flesh hidden beneath the fabric. It felt good and Jared was surprisingly not freaking out about the contact, so he was going to let this scene play out for a little longer.

Just as Jensen was about to pull Jared’s shirt off, his phone rang, causing the older man to groan softly. He knew that ringtone – it was Tom, which could only mean that the game was over and Tom wanted to know where he was so they could go party. “I don’t have to get that,” Jensen assured Jared, his gaze locking with the younger man’s as he gave his head a small shake. 

The sound of Jensen’s cell phone broke the moment, and Jared knew that even if he ignored the phone, they weren’t going to get it back. “N-No, you should answer it,” he explained, licking his lips as he scooted away from Jensen. “I have to pee, anyway.” He quickly climbed off the bed and headed into the bathroom, leaving Jensen alone to take the phone call.

“Dammit, Tom, what do you want?” Jensen hissed into the phone, rolling his eyes at his friend’s comment about how bitchy he was acting. “I’m with Jared, all right? I punched his friend Misha in the face because I’ve had too much to drink and Jared brought me home, all right? Let me call you tomorrow.”

A deep frown came to Tom’s lips. As far as Tom knew, Jensen and Jared had split up, and he wanted to keep it that way. “Yeah dude, sure,” Tom answered, acting as if he didn’t care that they were together. “I’ll talk to you later, then I guess. Don’t do anything stupid, man.” With that, Tom hung up, angrily marching down the field to find Mike.

Once he found him, Tom grabbed the other man’s wrist and started dragging him to the van. “We’re leaving,” he ordered, using a tighter grip than necessary to let Mike know that he wasn’t in the mood to play around. He had done this before; when he didn’t get his way, he took it out on Mike. And Mike never seemed to mind, or at least Tom didn’t care if he did. Tom was rich and powerful because of his parents, and he could have anything he wanted. And right now, he wanted Mike to get into the back seat of his van and shut the hell up while Tom fucked him hard and dry while pretending that Mike was Jared.

Now that he had Mike in the car, Tom shoved him into the back where the seats were down and they had more room – where he had taken Jared a few months earlier. “Get your clothes off,” Tom ordered, smiling softly as mike scrambled to do as he was told. The younger man knew better than to disobey Tom because the last time he did, Tom made him pay for it. There was nothing a little beating couldn’t do to make a man listen to what he was told. Tom learned that from his father.

He wasted no time pushing into Mike once they were both naked, Tom loving the sound of pain that slipped past Mike’s lips as he roughly buried himself to the hilt inside him. “Beg me not to do this, Mike,” Tom instructed, rapidly pushing into the man beneath him as another smile came to his lips at Mike’s pleading. “God yes, you want this so badly, don’t you baby?” A few more hard thrusts and he was spilling his load into Mike, moaning Jared’s name as he did so. After all, he knew that Mike wasn’t going to say anything about it. The other man was too afraid of what Tom would do to him if he squealed. Why else wouldn’t he have told someone that Tom had raped Jared by now?

Tom quickly pulled his clothes back on and ordered Mike to do the same before he started the van and was driving off. He needed to drop Mike off and head home to be alone. Jensen getting back together with Jared was not something he could let happen, so he needed to do some major planning to keep the two apart. Of course, he had to be discreet about it because he couldn’t let Jensen know that he was trying to sabotage his relationship. That could end their friendship for good, and Tom needed Jensen to stay his friend – he had a feeling it was the only thing keeping Jensen from believing that he had raped Jared. 

**~~**

Detectives Morgan and Ferris smiled at Danneel as she greeted them in the hallway of the hospital. They had been working Jared’s case since this happened, and Danneel had the results of Jared’s rape kit ready for them finally. It turned out that Tom’s parents got a whiff of what was going on and had Jared’s case put on the back burner somehow, which really pissed Jeffrey and Samantha off. But it was fine now because they were about to get the results and nail Tom’s ass to the wall.

“So, what’d you find out?” Samantha asked, her tone a bit more chipper than it should have been. She didn’t like to get involved with the victims of her cases, but Jared’s seemed to be special. There was just something about his personality and the way he was trying to protect his friend – even if he was lying bastard who had raped him – that made Samantha really want to get justice for Jared.

Leading the detectives to an empty room, Danneel instructed them to have a seat as she sat on the end of the unoccupied bed. “I have some very good news for you,” she explained, her smile coming back to her lips. “Turns out your perp isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. The guy didn’t wear a condom while he was raping Jared – we got DNA.” Pulling out the results, she handed it to Jeffrey before she continued. “And our young Tom Welling has been in the slammer before on drunk driving charges. Of course, it didn’t stick because he had the best lawyer in the northern hemisphere, but his DNA is in the system anyway.” Again, she pulled something out of her folder, this time handing it to Samantha. “I ran the DNA and wouldn’t you know that I got a match? Mr. Tom Welling himself.”

Although this was great news and it could really strengthen their case, it wasn’t enough. This only proved that Tom and Jared had sex. Unless they could get Jared to agree to testify, they really didn’t have anything. It was going to be a rough task, but Samantha and Jeffrey were really good at their jobs, so she was confident that they could get Jared to agree. After all, if she had been the victim and there was an opportunity to put the man who raped her behind bars, Samantha would take it. And Jared seemed like a smart kid, so she had a feeling he was going to take it as well.

After handing the papers back to Danneel, Samantha said, “You did some very good work here, Danneel. With any luck, we’ll be able to get Jared to testify and get Tom behind bars where he belongs.” Smiling, she started to head out of the room after Jeffrey before she added, “Oh, and if we need you to testify, can we count on you?”

Without hesitation, Danneel answered, “Of course you can. I still remember the night Jared came in here – how scared and broken he looked. I want Tom to pay for what he did.” Plus, she knew Sandy, so she had been keeping her in the loop and apparently Jensen and Jared had broken up over this and the whole situation was just a mess. Tom had all but ruined Jared’s life and Danneel wanted to see him pay. Maybe, if justice was served, Jared could get his life back.

Both Jeffrey and Samantha thanked Danneel as they headed out, knowing what they had to do next. It was too late tonight to go see Jared, but they were planning on heading out first thing in the morning. The sooner they addressed this new information, the sooner they could arrest Tom and get the piece of scum thrown in the slammer. All in all, this had been a pretty good day as far as Jeffrey was concerned.

**~~**

The sound of his cell phone caused Jensen to jerk awake, the older man groaning softly as his headache made itself known. Yeah, he was never drinking again. Sure, he knew that as soon as his hangover dwindled away – or maybe even before depending on his mood – Jensen was going to be reaching for the bottle again. It was the only thing that could make him forget Jared had left him. Grunting softly, he reached for the phone, glancing at the text message on the screen. It was from Mike and it sounded pretty urgent. _Jensen, I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Meet me in the cafeteria before your shift starts tomorrow. And come alone._

A quick glance at the clock told Jensen that it wasn’t even five o’clock in the morning yet, so he had time to get some more sleep. It was going to be one helluva day, but he knew that he couldn’t call off work. If he didn’t show up, Mitch would have him working the late shift for the next year. He didn’t want to have to deal with that, so he made sure his alarm was set to go off at seven thirty. 

When he rolled over, his eyes widened in surprise as he collided with a solid body beside him. At first he thought that he had been so drunk he picked someone up and brought them home, but the memories soon flooded back to him, bringing a smile to his lips. Jared – it was Jared in the bed with him. His thumb stroked the side of Jared’s face as he smiled down at the younger man in the dark. Jared had brought him home and he’d stayed here. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

With that thought in mind, Jensen repositioned himself so that he was lying on his side facing Jared, his arm slung over the younger man’s waist and his forehead pressed against Jared’s. His eyes fluttered closed then, sleep tugging Jensen back into unconsciousness. He would have to talk to Jared about where this put them in the morning before he left for work because now that Jared was back in their bed, Jensen wanted him to stay there.


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of the alarm blaring woke Jared with a start, the younger man’s eyes darting back and forth around the room. He was startled at first that he wasn’t in his own room, but then he remembered what had happened the night before and he quickly calmed down. Reaching over Jensen, Jared slapped the top of the alarm clock before he slowly slid from the bed. He needed to brush his teeth and use the bathroom before he woke Jensen up. 

While he was brushing his teeth, Jared fished through the medicine cabinet for the aspirin, knowing that Jensen was going to need it when he woke up. After all, he had been pretty intoxicated when Jared brought him home, and Jared knew the hangover was going to be a bitch. He quickly rinsed his mouth before he filled a glass with water and moved back to the bedroom, placing the aspirin and the water on the nightstand before he climbed into the bed with Jensen again, gently shaking the older man awake. “Jen, wake up. You gotta go to work.”

Jensen groaned softly as he rolled onto his side, eyes blinking open to see Jared sitting there with him. “Mmm…time is it?” he mumbled softly, not even caring that it wasn’t a full sentence at this point. His head was pounding and he wasn’t looking forward to going into work and having to deal with Mitch all day. 

“It’s a little after seven thirty,” Jared whispered softly, reaching for the pills and the water before he handed them to Jensen. “Here, take these. It’ll make you feel better,” he instructed. Jensen did as he was told, placing the water back on the nightstand when he was finished drinking. “So, how do you feel? Want me to call Mitch and tell him you won’t be in today?”

Shaking his head, Jensen pushed himself off the bed, keeping his movements slow so he didn’t topple over or vomit, or something equally as embarrassing. “No, if I don’t go in, he’ll make me work long shifts for a year. I can barely stand him for the eight hours I have to be there, let alone twelve or thirteen if he’s being pissy.” He shrugged slightly as he walked into the bathroom to relieve the pressure on his bladder. “Besides, I’m feeling all right. You’d be surprised how many hangovers I’ve had since you left.”

As he walked back into the room, Jensen tossed his shirt into the dirty clothes hamper. “By the way, what happened last night?” he asked, moving to his closet to find another shirt. “I mean, I remember you bringing me home and then…we were kissing and my phone rang. After that, it’s all just a blank.” He didn’t think they’d gone any further than kissing because that would have definitely been something he remembered, right?

A small smile came to Jared’s lips as he thought back on what had happened the night before. “Um…well, I went to the bathroom while you were on the phone, and when I got back out here, you’d passed out,” he explained, smiling up at Jensen from his position on the bed. “So, I just took off your jeans and let you sleep it off.” Smirking, Jared added, “And there may have been a kiss on your forehead in there, too.”

Now, it was Jensen’s turn to smirk. “Yeah?” he asked softly, pulling his shirt over his head before he shucked out of his boxers, figuring that it didn’t matter much if Jared saw him naked because it wasn’t like this would be the first time. Another smile came to his lips when Jared nodded, Jensen licking his lips slightly as he thought of the best way to word his next question. “So, where does this leave us…now?” he asked, hoping that it didn’t piss Jared off and make him leave. He knew that he had to meet Mike soon, but he wanted to know Jared’s answer first.

That was a good question. But Jared had no idea what the answer was. He still loved Jensen; there was no doubt about that. And last night had been the first night in months that Jared hadn’t ha d any nightmares about his attack, which he knew had to do with the fact that he’d been in Jensen’s arms again. Still, he couldn’t forgive Jensen for not believing him. That was really the only thing holding him back. “I don’t know,” he finally whispered with a small shake of his head. It was the best he could do right now.

Slowly, Jensen moved to the bed, taking a seat beside Jared as his hand reached out to cup the younger man’s cheek. “I’ll wait,” he whispered, nodding slightly as he gave Jared a tight-lipped smile. He could see the shock on the younger man’s face, but Jensen didn’t care. There was no one else in the world for him – only Jared. “Just, um…do me a favor, okay?”

After what Jensen had just told him, Jared would have been willing to do anything for Jensen. “Y-Yeah,” he mumbled softly, licking his lips as he nodded. “Anything.”

Anything – that was a nice thought. But Jensen only wanted one thing. “Come to dinner with me tonight. We can forget about everything else and go to some fancy restaurant like we used to do when we first got together. Somewhere neither of us can pronounce the food on the menu. It’ll be fun.”

It did sound like fun. But Jared could think of something better than a fancy restaurant with food items he couldn’t pronounce. “No,” he answered softly, smirking at the look on Jensen’s face. “I have a better idea. Let’s just order Chinese food and watch movies like we used to when it was rainy and gross outside.” Those days had always been Jared’s favorites because he had been able to curl up on the couch and just chill with his lover. Maybe that could be the thing to get them back together. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Jensen assured the younger man. “You’re welcome to stay here today while I’m at work if you want to. I’ll make sure I get off early and we can have dinner here by six. Does that sound like a good plan to you?”

“That sounds perfect,” Jared smiled, biting into his bottom lip before he dared to lean in and press his lips against Jensen’s. If they were going to try to make this work, Jared was going to make it like old times. And every morning before his lover left for work, Jared would kiss him and wish him a good day. “Have a good day at work,” he whispered, moaning softly when Jensen leaned in and captured his lips once more. Yeah, they could definitely make this work again. They _had_ to. Everyone else had been right when they said that he and Jensen were meant to be together; Jared knew it.

Although Jensen wanted nothing more than to stay right here with Jared, he knew that he had to get out of here so he wouldn’t be late meeting Mike. “Unfortunately, I have to go to work now,” he mumbled against Jared’s lips, pressing lightly one last time before he pulled back. “I’ll be home as soon as I can be, baby.” The pet name just slipped off his tongue, Jensen not meaning to call Jared his baby; of course, the younger man didn’t seem to mind, so Jensen was going to let it slide too. He walked out of the house with a big smile on his lips, leaving Jared alone to entertain himself for the day.

**~~**

Mike nervously tapped the edge of the table in time with his foot under the table. If Tom knew that he was here, he probably would have killed him. And that wasn’t an exaggeration. He had too much dirt on the other man; if Tom knew that Mike was about to squeal, this would be the end. 

But he’d kept quiet over the last few days, hardly speaking at all because he knew that it was time to come clean. Last night had been the last straw. Mike was sick and tired of Tom ruining peoples’ lives. And he was worried that Tom was going to hurt Jared again after the way the other man groaned Jared’s name as he came last night. There was no doubt in Mike’s mind something was going to happen, and soon.

He straightened up when he saw Jensen coming, licking his lips nervously as he thought of what he was going to say to the other man. Mike really wasn’t seeing a good option here. Either way, there was a _big_ chance that he was going to lose his friend. After all, he knew that Jared hadn’t been lying, and he didn’t do anything; he didn’t tell anyone, and he never said anything. Of course, he knew that he should have, but it was too little, too late for that right now. All he could do was hope that Jensen saw he had kept his mouth shut because he was so damn scared.

Taking a seat across from mike, Jensen quickly checked his phone for the time, making sure he wasn’t going to be late for work. He had about fifteen minutes before he needed to start walking towards the office, so he hoped that was enough time. “Hey, what’s up?” Jensen asked, his brows knitting with worry. “Your text seemed pretty urgent. And no offense dude, but you’re not looking too well. Did you even get any sleep last night?”

A small chuckle escaped Mike’s lips at Jensen’s comment, the other man giving his head a small shake. “No, not really,” he admitted. “I have to tell you something, Jen. And you’re probably going to hate me for it, but I can’t keep it anymore – people might get hurt if I don’t talk.” He could see that Jensen was confused, but he wasn’t about to stop so he could explain it to his friend. “Jared wasn’t lying. Tom did rape him. And I…think he’s planning on doing it again.”

At Mike’s words, Jensen felt like he was going to lose the meager breakfast he’d grabbed before he headed out of the house. No, this wasn’t possible. But…Mike would know because he was his boyfriend. Hell, Tom had apparently been with him when the attack took place. Then again, Tom could have lied, even if Jensen didn’t want to believe that. The thing that was troubling him most though was the fact that Mike had known and he was choosing just now to tell Jensen about it. “You knew?” Jensen asked, giving his head a small shake. “All of this time, you know, and you didn’t say anything?!”

“Jensen, please, you don’t understand,” Mike started, feeling tears springing to his eyes. “Please, just listen to me.” It was obvious that Jensen didn’t want to listen, but Mike was going to say it anyway. “You don’t know Tom as well as you think you do. He acts all nice and cool, but he’s not. I’ve got the bruises and scars to prove it. And he’s been obsessed with Jared since you started dating him because that’s when Jared stopped having feelings for him. So now, he’s trying to get Jared to be with him.” Sniffling softly, Mike added, “Last night, after he found out that you and Jared were together again, he forced me into the van and made me have sex with him. And when he reached his climax, he groaned Jared’s name! Then he told me later when we were home that if he couldn’t have Jared, then no one could. He’s lost it, Jen!”

This wasn’t happening. None of this was happening. It was all just a dream and Jensen was going to wake up with a hangover and this would have all just been a nightmare. At least he was trying to make himself believe that, but when there was a chance that Jared was in danger, Jensen didn’t have time to kid himself like this. “Get up,” Jensen ordered, pushing himself from his seat. “We need to get back to my house. If Jared’s in trouble, we need to make sure he’s safe. And don’t even think about warning Tom about this. I’m calling the police, and I’m going to get them to take him in.” Nobody fucked with Jared and got away with it.

No protests came from Mike as he jumped from his chair and followed Jensen out of the college. He wasn’t sure when Tom was going to attack Jared, but he hoped that they were going to be in time to save him. After all, Mike wasn’t too sure that Jared would survive another one of Tom’s attacks. Jared was never going to agree to be with Tom, especially after he’d raped him, so Mike knew that Tom would follow through on his threat that no one else could have Jared. And the only way Mike saw to make that happen was to eliminate Jared.

Again, Mike kept his mouth shut when Jensen broke every speed limit there was on the way to his house, Mike sitting in the passenger seat just glad that he was still conscious. Jensen tossed his cell phone into his lap and ordered him to call Jared. Unfortunately, there was no answer, which only had Jensen freaking out more. 

Seconds after the engine was cut, Jensen was flinging himself from the car and running into his house, searching frantically for Jared. “Jay!” he called out, running up the stairs to the bedroom to see if the younger man had taken a nap. He then checked the bathroom, and still there was nothing. Quickly jogging back down the stairs where Mike had been checking for Jared, Jensen asked, “Anything? Did you find him?”

Sadly, Mike shook his head. “No, I don’t think he’s here,” Mike answered, a knot growing deep in his belly at the idea of Tom hurting Jared. He wished that he would have said something earlier – that he hadn’t been such a damn coward. But it was too little, too late for that now. And if anything happened to Jared, Mike was going to blame himself.

Jensen’s fists came down on the table as he shouted, “Dammit! Where the hell could he be? And he’s not answering his fucking phone!” Shaking his head, Jensen tried to think of anyplace else that Jared could be. “Call his house, see if he’s there,” Jensen explained, waiting for Mike to do as he was told. After all, he had given Mike his cell phone in the car, so it was easier if he just kept it and did the job for now. Again, there was no answer, which meant that not even the Padalecki’s were home at the moment. He didn’t think Jared would go somewhere with them and not let him know, but he knew it was a possibility. Maybe it wasn’t time to completely panic yet.

Moving towards the door once more, Jensen explained, “Come on, we’re going to Jared’s parents’ house. If he’s not here, he might be there and just not answering the phone.” He didn’t wait for Mike as he climbed into the car, pulling out of the driveway before Mike even had a chance to get the passenger door closed after he’d climbed in. If Jared wasn’t there, then Jensen was going to start panicking.

**~~**

A pained groan escaped Jared as he slowly came to, the younger man’s head spinning wildly. He was bound to a chair and he could feel the blood tricking down the side of his face from the apparent wound on his temple. Panic swirled inside of him, threatening to make him lose the meager contents of his belly on the dingy floor of the building that he was in. Memories flooded through his drug-addled brain and Jared knew this wasn’t going to be good.

One minute, he’d been heading into his parents’ house to grab a change of clothes for today and tomorrow, and as he walked in, Detective Morgan was leaving him a message. He hadn’t heard much other than the fact that they had new evidence and they wanted to speak with Jared as soon as possible. He had been planning on calling him back before he went to Jensen’s house again, but as soon as he closed his door, he was grabbed from behind and a needle had gone into his neck moments before he started to feel dizzy and disoriented. Jared had fallen unconscious before he even realized what had happened.

Now, here he was in what looked like an old basement tied to a chair. Yeah, this couldn’t be a good sign. When Tom’s face came into his view, Jared knew that this was worse than he had originally thought. Struggling against his bonds, Jared whimpered into the gag that was in his mouth, desperately trying to get away. This couldn’t happen again – he wouldn’t let it. 

As Tom moved closer, Jared kicked out with his feet, frowning in frustration when the other man easily dodged his attacks, Tom backhanding Jared so hard the younger man saw white blurring his vision. He hissed into the bandana that had been tied around the back of his head and used as a makeshift gag when Tom grabbed his hair and forced him to look into his eyes. 

“You’re mine, Jared,” Tom whispered matter-of-factly. “No one else can have you. I was willing to give you some time to come to your senses, but imagine my surprise when I find out that you’re already back in Jensen’s bed after such a short period of time.” Shaking his head as he pulled back again, Tom accused, “Just like the little slut you are. Did you let him fuck you hard, Jared? Make up for all of that time he didn’t have you?”

When Jared didn’t answer him, Tom got angry, roughly yanking the gag from Jared’s mouth and screaming, “Did you, Jared? Huh? Did you let him fuck what was mine last night?!” He didn’t give Jared a chance to answer before he hit him again. Tom didn’t care what Jared had to say. It was obvious that he and Jensen were sleeping together again; otherwise Jared wouldn’t have been at Jensen’s house all night. And honestly, Tom didn’t want to hear Jared’s lies.

Roughly, Tom started to untie Jared, not worried about the younger man trying to fight back because the drug that he had administered earlier contained a paralyzing agent. He’d only tied him up because it took a while for the paralysis to kick in. And since Jared wasn’t kicking about anymore, Tom supposed that it was working now. “I don’t care what you have to say, Jared. I’ll make you forget all about Jensen when I’m done with you. Or I’ll make you so badly damaged that _no one_ will ever want you.” Allowing Jared to fall on the floor haphazardly, Tom smiled, kneeling down beside him. “Like I said, you’re mine. If I can’t have you, then no one can.”

Jared realized that he couldn’t move and he felt like his whole world had shattered right before his eyes. There was no way for him to fight back now. No way for him to stop the abuse that was going to undoubtedly be coming in just a few minutes. “Don’t,” he ground out, his brain ordering his body to just fucking move, though it wasn’t listening. As Tom crawled on top of him, straddling his waist, Jared ordered, “Get off me! Don’t fucking touch me!”

The protests coming from the paralyzed man beneath him only had Tom chuckling softly. “What are you going to do to stop me, Jared?” he asked, smirking with triumph. “You just can’t get it through your head that I have the upper hand here. I’m calling the shots. And right now, I want you to suck my dick.” Without another word, Tom unzipped his pants, ready to make Jared do as he had been told.

**~~**

Now, Jensen was starting to panic. Jared wasn’t here either, but the door had been left open and Jared’s cell phone was lying face down on the floor beside the door. Something had definitely happened. Reaching down and grabbing Jared’s phone, Jensen pocketed it, not knowing where they could go from here. “Fuck,” he whispered softly, reeling around and slamming his fist into the wall beside the door. He could feel tiny bones in his hand break on impact, but he didn’t care about that right now. All he cared about was finding Jared.

Moving into the house further, Jensen played the message on Jared’s answering machine, frowning in concentration as Detective Morgan explained that he had good news to tell Jared. Quickly, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number the man left on the line. “Yeah hi, this is Jensen Ackles – I’m Jared’s…boyfriend,” he explained, not sure how to address himself in regards to Jared now, but figuring that worked better than nothing. “Look, he’s _missing_ , Detective. I need you to put an APB out on Tom Welling and meet me at Tom’s house. If Jared isn’t here and he’s not at my place, then Tom must have him somewhere.”

“What makes you think he was kidnapped, Mr. Ackles?” Jeffrey asked, not sure of what he thought about Jensen getting on the line and barking orders at him. He was the police officer here, and he would take care of whatever needed to be done. Jeffrey didn’t need a civilian to tell him what to do. Besides, he’d never met Jensen, so he wasn’t sure what he thought about him yet. He wasn’t sure if Jensen was trustworthy yet.

Barely holding back the smart ass comment that wanted to escape him, Jensen rolled his eyes. “Because a friend of mine told me that Tom wants to hurt Jared again,” he explained. “Now I don’t have time to talk, so please just meet me at Tom’s address. 867 Maple Street. And hurry up.”

With that, Jensen hung up the phone, dragging Mike out the door with him and all but shoving the other man into the car. He was pissed off about this whole situation, but most of all, he was pissed off that he hadn’t listened to Jared in the first place. He knew that Jared didn’t lie! Jensen had just been acting like a fucking idiot, and now Jared might have to pay the price for that. Pressing his foot down on the gas pedal, Jensen forced his truck to accelerate well over the speed limit and drove off in the direction of Tom’s house.

Needless to say, Jensen made it to Tom’s place in record time. He didn’t even bother to knock when he got there, just barging into the house and calling, “Jared?!” At first, Jensen didn’t hear a response, and he was worried that he’d been wrong. That was when he heard Jared yelling at Tom to get off him and warning him not to touch him. They were in the basement, and Jensen was going down there whether he was welcome or not.

The scene that he was greeted with when he got down the steps had Jensen seeing red. Angrily, he rushed Tom, the other man thankfully too preoccupied trying to get his jeans zipped back up to stop Jensen’s attack. One solid punch to the jaw had Tom groaning in pain and Jensen smirked with triumph. But the fight wasn’t over yet. He knew that. Vaguely, he realized that Mike was downstairs now tending to Jared now that Tom was away from him, so he threw his whole attention into the fight, blocking punches and kicks and throwing some of his own.

By the time the police arrived, both men were a bloody mess, though Tom was in a lot worse shape than Jensen. After reading Tom his rights, the police personally drove him to the hospital to get his nose checked because they were pretty sure that it was broken. They planned on taking him straight to lock-up once they had the go-ahead from the doctor.

Detectives Morgan and Ferris stayed back with Jensen and Jared, Mike having gone back to his apartment as soon as he was sure that Jared was fine. After all, Mike didn’t think either men were really eager to speak with him right now. “Jared, are you going to be all right?” Samantha asked the younger man, frowning with concern. Although Jensen had gotten here before Tom had a chance to force himself into Jared’s mouth, it was still a traumatizing experience, she was sure.

Slowly, Jared nodded, scooting into Jensen’s warm, safe embrace a little more in an attempt to hide from all of the attention. “Yeah, I just…wanna go home.” The drugs had completely worn out of his system now and he just wanted to order Chinese food and watch bad movies like he had planned on doing tonight. Turning his attention to Jensen, Jared whispered, “Can you take me home? Please?”

After assuring the Detectives that they would be available when they were needed, Jensen helped Jared into the truck and drove them back to Jared’s house. Apparently, this had been where Jared was when he was grabbed, so Jensen assumed he wanted to be brought back here when he said to take him home. Jensen didn’t like the idea of leaving Jared here, but he would honor the younger man’s wishes.

“No, not here,” Jared explained, his hand moving to squeeze Jensen’s thigh. “I mean take me to my real home. I want to move back in with you. I-I’m not ready to completely forgive you for not believing me, but today definitely opened my eyes. There’s no doubt in my mind that I want to be with you, Jen. Just…we have to take it slow. And you have to promise me that no matter what, you’ll believe me when I tell you something happened to me.”

High on the news that Jared wanted to be with him, Jensen smirked as he started driving towards their house. “Yeah baby, I promise,” he assured Jared, a small smile on his lips. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe you. I just…I don’t even know what I was thinking.” Leaning over, Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s gently before he started driving again, ready to get them home.

In that moment, he knew that everything was going to be okay. He and Jensen were meant to be together, and there was nothing that could take that away from them. Not even Tom Welling, who up until now had gotten everything he wanted in life. Apparently everyone learned sometime that you can’t always get what you want, and Jared was glad about that.


End file.
